As the author of the book Single and Not Settling! A Journey of Surviving the Dating World I’ve interviewed a number of men and women in their 40s on the topic of one-night stands. Of course everyone has their point of view, but the majority of people I talked to felt that sleeping with someone on the first date was not a wise choice. Personally, I don’t recommend having a one-night stand but I’m not judging those who do. It all depends on what your goals for dating are and what you want out of the specific date you’re on.

With that in mind, here are some pros and cons of having a one-night stand while dating in your 40s:

Con: One-night stands are risky.
In the heat of the moment, when passions are in full swing, it’s easy to give in and spend the night with someone. However, you really don’t know their background and if you forgo using protection (which you should never do) you may suffer the obvious consequences of your decision.

Because you don’t know the person or their intentions, one-night stands can be a risk. You’re putting yourself in a vulnerable situation. Whether you’re at their place, your place, or a hotel, you’re alone with a virtual stranger and your friends or family don’t know where you are. If you decide to change your mind, leaving can get awkward and uncomfortable. Not to mention, the next morning.