When each relationship fails and you start over, there is a sense of dread, even if your past relationship was a horror. I don’t know too many people that are excited about the prospect of starting over. We all know the ups and downs, the ins and outs, and the merry-go-round of dating. Most people go into relationships with hopes that this is the one, to possibly coming out with the knowledge that they definitely are NOT the one. After several failed efforts, you lose the energy and spark when faced with the prospect of yet another first date. To remain optimistic is a huge effort, but what is the alternative?

Keeping your past in your past, but learning from the experiences is a key element to beginning the process again with a renewed outlook. When starting over, mentally prepare your list of negotiables and non-negotiables, but be realistic in your expectations. You can’t expect that they will look like a model and have the wealth of Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey. But at the same time, you can’t date someone who is not desirable to you.

Since that last relationship was in the past and you want to move forward, start by doing something to give your self-esteem a boost. It could be as simple as a new hairstyle, some new shoes, or a new set of bedsheets. Also, expanding your horizons by going to new places or picking up a new hobby gives you a sense of renewal and some excitement over the unknown. As we all want to turn to the people closest to us to discuss our dating issues and get advice, I believe that sometimes going to a relationship specialist is the better choice. They can give you non-judgmental professional advice and help you avoid repeating the same dating patterns over and over again. This will all help prepare you for a new dating experience with a positive outlook.