There are a lot of people who lament dating over 40, and it’s true that there are some downsides. The pressure to find someone, the isolation of not being in a couple when so many of your peers are, the hassle of having to do everything on your own… It can all add up. But there are also many wonderful things about dating over 40. Having the ability to see who you want, when you want can be incredibly freeing. No needing to compromise about your time, money, or aspirations can make you feel powerful. But there are a lot of other perks to being single in your 40s you may not have thought of.
If you’re 40 and single and starting to feel a little down on yourself, check out these reasons why this time can be one of the best times of your life:
Dating gives you the opportunity to meet new people
Meeting new people can become a bit of a challenge once you hit your 40s. Often times, your circle of friends and co-workers are established. However, one of the benefits of being single is that when you go on dates, you’re inadvertently expanding your social network. Even if you don’t meet the man or woman of your dreams, you may still make a new friend.
By their 40s, most people have established themselves in their career and have been able to provide for themselves. They have a decent apartment, condo, or home that is furnished and they’ve most likely paid off any student debt. Many now make enough money to enjoy meals out, vacations, and other leisure activities. This allows for a more enjoyable dating experience with someone who is financially stable and has available time to get together.
Knowing what you want and don’t want in a partner
With age comes experience. After a good 20+ years of dating, marriage or both, we have figured out what we want in a partner. We know what personality traits are important and those we want to avoid. We also know our bodies better. We know our whole selves better and through that knowledge, we can focus on finding the right person who meets out needs.
Learning from our mistakes
Dating someone who has been divorced or who has been in long-term relationships before most likely means that they’ve learned from their mistakes and have become a better partner. They know the pitfalls in advance and can avoid them before they become a problem. They know the ropes. They may have experienced couples counseling which has taught them skills for a positive relationship. Dating them after 40 allows you to benefit from their lessons learned in their previous romantic life. And you’ve learned a lesson or two as well.
When dating at a younger age, you often have to deal with meeting and impressing your partner’s parents, family, and friends. You want to fit in so they’ll like you. This can be very stressful, especially if the family isn’t the welcoming type. By the time you’re 40+, you don’t need that type of recognition. While you certainly want to have a good relationship with possible future in-laws, you’re beyond seeking their approval. Granted, you may have to deal with creating a relationship with your partner’s children from a previous marriage or relationship, but it is not necessary for their adult family members and friends to be your besties.
Being over 40 provides the perfect combination of experience and age to let us enjoy the dating scene in a whole new light. Get out there and have some fun.