Here we go again. It’s that time when we start writing down those New Year’s resolutions. You know the drill – lose weight, save money, learn a new language. But let’s be real: by February, most of these well-intentioned goals are already gathering dust alongside last year’s forgotten promises.
Why does this happen? I think we’re approaching resolutions all wrong. We’re mixing up our needs and wants, and that’s where things get messy. I am certainly not telling you how to make your New Year’s resolutions, but here is what I have noticed through my own personal experience:
Understanding Needs vs. Wants
Needs are the essentials – things required for our basic well-being and survival. These include physical health, emotional stability, financial security, and meaningful relationships. Think of needs as the foundation of your house – without them, everything else falls apart.
Wants, on the other hand, are the nice-to-haves. These are the extras that make life more enjoyable but aren’t essential for our basic well-being. They’re the goals that sound impressive when you tell your friends, but don’t necessarily contribute to our factual happiness.
Why Our Resolutions Usually Fail
Most of us load up our New Year’s lists with wants disguised as needs. For example:
“I need to cut out all carbs” – What you actually need is to have a balanced, sustainable relationship with food.
“I need to work out every single day” – What you actually need is regular exercise that makes you feel good.
“I need to get a promotion this year” – What you actually need is financial stability and work satisfaction.
See the problem? When we treat wants as needs, we create unnecessary pressure and set ourselves up for disappointment.
Making This Year Different
Here’s how we can flip the script:
- Start with True Needs
- Ask yourself: “What do I genuinely need for my well-being?”
- Focus on basics like health, relationships, and mental peace
- Be brutally honest about what’s essential versus what’s extra
- Acknowledge Your Wants
- There’s nothing wrong with wants! They motivate us and make life exciting
- Just label them correctly
- Keep them as bonus goals, not primary objectives
- Create a Two-Tier System
- Tier 1: Need-based resolutions (non-negotiable)
- Tier 2: Want-based goals (flexible and fun)
- Set Realistic Timelines
- Needs often require consistent, long-term commitment
- Wants can be more fluid and experimental
Real-Life Resolution Makeovers
Let’s transform some common resolutions:
Sleep Goals
- Want: “I need to wake up at 5 AM every day so I can be super productive and get everything I need to get done.”
- Real Need: “I need to establish a consistent sleep schedule that gives me enough rest.”
Mental Health
- Want: “I need to meditate for an hour every morning.”
- Real Need: “I need to find 10 minutes daily for mental clarity and stress management.”
Personal Growth
- Want: “I need to read 50 books this year”
- Real Need: “I need to make time for learning and personal development in a way that fits my life”
These revised goals focus on what truly matters for our well-being, are manageable, and not what social media or society tells us we should want.
The Bottom Line
This year, let’s be smarter about our resolutions. By separating needs from wants, we can create a more balanced, achievable approach to personal growth. Focus on what truly matters for your well-being first, then sprinkle in those wants as bonus achievements.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with wanting more – just don’t let those wants overshadow your fundamental needs. When you build your resolutions on a foundation of genuine needs, you’re more likely to follow through with them and create lasting change.
This could be the year your resolutions actually stick. Not because you’ve suddenly developed superhuman willpower, but because you’re finally focusing on achievable goals that truly matter.